The One Thing That Will Help You Stop Feeling Frustrated With Yourself
How to describe best what’s going on when we are frustrated in life.
When frustration comes in, I am usually feeling like I make zero progress. I feel tired and lazy. No results, no motivation. I am enthusiastic but then something come up. I finish solving one problem but another one comes up…
It’s a mixed feeling where everything around you is supposedly great. Where you are supposed to be happy. You have a great apartment, a happy family, some great events happening in your life.
Everything should be fine… But it’s not. There is something in your head that is bothering you.
You still feel unsatisfied with something: you are frustrated with yourself.
And if you really check what’s going on in the world or in your friends lives… you are not supposed to complain because your life is probably far better than most people.
But you can’t help it, you can’t see the bright side of things right now. You are not feeling proud of anything, Something is not satisfying and you don’t know why. You are about to give up everything but you have no valid reasons.
Life. Best way to sort this situation is to acknowledge it:
“Yes, I am feeling frustrated with my life at the moment. And I know exactly what is the problem…”
So if you are in the same situation, stick until the end of this article so I can share with you my plan to help you stop feeling frustrated with yourself.
Why Are You Frustrated With Yourself?
It is YOUR frustration. And no one else.
Couple of definitions of what we talk about here:
Frustration: it’s this feeling I was describing above.
Feeling: it’s an emotion, it’s a perception.
Emotion: it’s your personal expression of the reality.
Perception: the view on or of something.
So… this means that Frustration is personal. It’s only your problem. It’s an emotion that comes within yourself, that only you can properly feel and really perceive.
Your frustration in life comes from your own perception of yourself.
Think about it… You are not always like this right?
Think about a period in your life where you were feeling proud or confident or indestructible… A moment where nothing could stop you.
Think about how you were perceiving things at that time.
You probably had the same life, same friends and same problems in life… you were simply not looking at them the same way.
Frustration is a conflict against yourself.
I believe that frustration is happening when there is an internal conflict happening inside your mind.
Something you are expecting but is not happening, no results yet.. despite all these efforts!
You are impatient, you are not accepting that things take time.
You are clearly resisting to the reality.
How to Stop Feeling Frustrated With Yourself?
There is the reality and there is your perception of it:
At first, you better be easy on yourself.
Stop blaming yourself. Stop blaming others. Stop searching for excuses or explanations.
Start accepting that things are not the way you expected them to be.
Accept that reality is different than what you imagined.
Accept that you are frustrated.
You can talk to yourself (I won’t tell anyone and nobody has to know):
“Hi there! Hello Frustration, what’s up?”
Talking to your frustration will help you separate “yourself” from your “frustrations”. Your frustrations are not yourself. It will take away some heavy feelings and lighten up your moody-mind.
You are not your frustrations.
Be gentle with yourself 😇!
Start focusing on your personal progress and invest in yourself.
Invest in yourself (instead of others’ problems).
Ok … This will sound horrible for many but let me say it: “Be selfish.”
If you want to help others, if you want to change the world, you have to start with yourself and you have to be able to spend time for yourself.
I started understanding this only a few years ago. When I was getting successful with my hostel, I would have no time for myself.
And I remember being really frustrated because everything was successful and people would look at me as a 26 year old entrepreneur whose hostel is number one in Saigon… But inside myself, it was only frustration.
I was working 24/7 and neglecting everything; health mostly but my relationships too, etc.
Here we are 4 years later, finally being able to write down this article because I have finally understood what is the key element in killing self-frustration.
Simply start investing in yourself!
What do I mean by “investing in yourself”?
It’s when you decide to prioritize yourself before others, before their problems and before the world’s problems.
No, it’s not giving up on these problems. It’s simply saying to your environment that to better help them, you got to be a better person, a stronger person and prepare yourself.
Step by step. “Today better than yesterday” mindset!
In a former article I was highlighting the importance of small steps. It’s exactly what you could think about right now.
Remember it’s a two ingredients’ recipe:
- Be gentle with yourself
- Step by step: today better than yesterday
Look at yourself in the mirror today and make the decision to be a little better than yesterday. And repeat this tomorrow. And set yourself an alarm every hour if you need it to remind yourself to do this.
When doing this you can start seeing progress more clearly rather than only the “what’s left to do” or the “what we didn’t accomplish yet”.
Last advise: smile.
With a smile, everything becomes easier 😉 ! It’s cheezy and simple but very efficient. Smiling can cure any frustration <3
If you want to go further, I have wrote a guide sharing 10 ways to reclaim your time. We will go deeper into the solutions to know yourself better, save more time for yourself and accomplish things you really care about.
The link of the guide: https://nicolasthanh.com/starter-guide/